{"id":112,"date":"2018-08-15T23:32:39","date_gmt":"2018-08-15T23:32:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/?p=112"},"modified":"2018-08-24T03:09:36","modified_gmt":"2018-08-24T03:09:36","slug":"things-you-shouldnt-share-with-your-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/things-you-shouldnt-share-with-your-man\/","title":{"rendered":"Things You Shouldn\u2019t Share With Your Man"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Slade Shaw
\nAuthor of\u00a0Why Men Pull Away<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Learn exactly what pushes men to leave\u2026and how to NEVER feel abandoned or rejected<\/p>\n

Why Men Pull Away\u2026and What Makes Them STAY In Love<\/strong><\/a><\/h2>\n

Things You Shouldn\u2019t Share With Your Man<\/h2>\n

Ever noticed how some guys like to play hard to get?<\/p>\n

\u201cI usually don\u2019t like to go all out when I\u2019m still getting to know\u00a0someone\u201d<\/em>, says Jim, a good friend of mine.\u00a0 He believes that acting\u00a0too sappy and eager at the beginning is a huge turn-off for women.<\/p>\n

Jim explains,\u00a0\u201cWhen I was younger, I had the tendency to call a\u00a0girl I was dating ten times a day just to ask how she was doing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He adds,\u00a0\u201cI also had this habit of spilling my soul to her with my\u00a0life story.\u00a0 I figured she\u2019d appreciate my honesty and feel closer\u00a0to me if I told her everything.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Naturally, women ended up keeping their distance because of his\u00a0clingy attitude.
\n
\n\u201cIt occurred to me that the women I\u2019ve dated couldn\u2019t decide\u00a0whether I was a potential boyfriend or a man-child that needed\u00a0constant reassurance\u201d<\/em>, he shared with me.<\/p>\n

Over time, Jim learned to pace himself.\u00a0 He says,\u00a0\u201cAfter a string\u00a0of unsuccessful tries, I finally realized that I had to loosen up\u00a0and take it easy with women.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had better results after I\u00a0developed a better sense of timing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t help but agree with Jim.\u00a0 Overzealousness can sometimes\u00a0get the best of us, and women too are just as capable of getting\u00a0carried away with our emotions.<\/p>\n

Over the decades, we girls have been conditioned to play hard to\u00a0get when a man pursues us.\u00a0 In the strictest sense of the term,\u00a0it\u2019s dangerous ground to tread on.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a fine line between reserving your charms and affections\u00a0for the deserving\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2026and purposely manipulating a man by playing mind games.<\/p>\n

I propose a different way of \u201cplaying hard to get\u201d.\u00a0 It\u2019s\u00a0withholding yourself in a way that places value on yourself and\u00a0preserves your dignity at the same time.<\/p>\n

For example, you might consider cooking a four-course meal for a\u00a0man you\u2019ve just dated twice.\u00a0 At that point, should you really\u00a0spoil him that much?<\/p>\n

Or should you give him a bowl of chips, popcorn and a soda\u2026and\u00a0then whip him up a grand dinner AFTER he\u2019s proven himself worthy?<\/p>\n

So you see, it\u2019s really not a matter of NOT treating him well.\u00a0It\u2019s more of the proper timing for everything.<\/p>\n

A man is more likely to appreciate your sweetness if he\u2019s felt that\u00a0he\u2019s earned it.\u00a0 He\u2019ll feel like a king if he feels that he had to\u00a0go through the stages of courtship (i.e. worked hard) before\u00a0reaching that point.<\/p>\n

As such, being attractive boils down to doing things at the right\u00a0time \u2013 that also includes the way you talk about yourself.<\/p>\n

When we feel close to someone, it only seems right to share\u00a0personal details and stories that you wouldn\u2019t normally talk about\u00a0with anyone else.<\/p>\n

When it comes to dating however, it\u2019s wise to go about this with\u00a0caution.\u00a0 You need to be careful with what AND how you talk about\u00a0past experiences and yourself in general.<\/p>\n

Before you start sharing your stories with him, keep a couple of\u00a0guidelines in mind.<\/p>\n

First, your disclosures should NOT give him the impression that\u00a0you\u2019re a whiny victim.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve all encountered this type in some facet in our lives.\u00a0 I\u2019m\u00a0sure you\u2019ve met at least one colleague, friend, or relative who has\u00a0nothing better to talk about than how their sad little lives have\u00a0gone to ruin.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll get an earful about the rotten luck they\u2019ve been having, or\u00a0how a bunch of people are always on their case.<\/p>\n

Your new date wouldn\u2019t want to be wasting his time listening to\u00a0your complaints, so be courteous enough to keep the whining to a\u00a0minimum.\u00a0 Sitting through a barrage of sob stories has never made\u00a0any woman sexy from a guy\u2019s point of view.<\/p>\n

He\u2019ll be thinking, \u201cMan, I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll be asking her out on\u00a0another date if she keeps this up!\u201d<\/p>\n

Being a victim isn\u2019t hot.\u00a0 Guys want an equal partner who can be as\u00a0strong and independent as they are.<\/p>\n

They\u2019d rather be a boyfriend, and not a babysitter.\u00a0 Endlessly\u00a0agonizing over the problems of your life (and in front of him no\u00a0less) is not an endearing trait.<\/p>\n

Thus, your hang ups do not make for good conversation.\u00a0 It\u2019s\u00a0perfectly alright to tell him about the stuff you have to put up\u00a0with as long as you\u2019re upbeat about it.<\/p>\n

For instance, if you\u2019re going to talk about the kind of hassles you\u00a0have at work, make you don\u2019t drag your date into a downward spiral\u00a0of negativity.<\/p>\n

Your guy should associate good feelings with you; you don\u2019t want\u00a0him remembering you through a depressing story that you told him.<\/p>\n

While you\u2019re being positive, lay off the self-depreciation too. \u00a0Funny anecdotes are alright provided that they don\u2019t make you ou tto be some insecure woman who defines herself through her\u00a0imperfections.<\/p>\n

A common mistake that some na\u00efve girls make is to open up about\u00a0themselves in a way that tells a guy, \u201cI\u2019m not attractive,\u00a0confident, or young enough for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s obviously not a very good vibe to give off to guys.\u00a0 Worse,\u00a0these restrictive beliefs set you onto a path that you\u2019ll blindly\u00a0follow.<\/p>\n

For example, if you think that men find you hopelessly\u00a0unattractive, it will taint your attitude and make you less\u00a0receptive to guys who show interest in you.<\/p>\n

Be wary of how you talk about yourself because broadcasting the\u00a0wrong impression upon men will doom you to the same situation, over\u00a0and over.<\/p>\n

The second most important thing to remember about storytelling is\u00a0to be tactful about your past experiences.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s worse than negative self-talk?\u00a0 A rich and unsettling\u00a0account of all the horrid details of your past\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2026such as failed relationships or the full history of your\u00a0childhood traumas.<\/p>\n

A therapist would probably be all ears, but your date will smile,\u00a0nod politely, and secretly look for the nearest exit.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying you can\u2019t share these things with him later on.\u00a0 I\u2019m\u00a0only asking you to be graceful enough not to shock him by unloading\u00a0ALL of it on the first date.<\/p>\n

You want to attract him, not have him running for dear life!\u00a0 Like\u00a0what I said before, it\u2019s all a matter of timing.<\/p>\n

Give him enough time to know you little by little so that he can\u00a0gradually see both the good and not-so-good sides of your\u00a0personality.<\/p>\n

Rushing him into knowing every little thing about you will kill the\u00a0mystery and make him extremely uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

Going back to Jim\u2019s example, don\u2019t make the same mistake of going\u00a0all the way in the interest of fostering premature closeness.\u00a0 It\u00a0takes time to develop a bond with a guy, and raunchy tales about\u00a0your ex-boyfriends won\u2019t speed things up one bit!<\/p>\n

As the famous saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt\u2026.or worse, \u00a0the urge to get the heck away from you!\u00a0 While guys love mystery,\u00a0they would be more than happy to settle for not being taken aback\u00a0by your juicy confessions.<\/p>\n

Take it from me.\u00a0 Back in college, I had made a lapse in judgment\u00a0during a date, just like Jim did.\u00a0 I had just broken up with my\u00a0boyfriend at the time, and my friends set me up with an\u00a0acquaintance whom they thought would be a perfect match for me.<\/p>\n

It would have been, if not for my over-eagerness.\u00a0 Looking back, I\u00a0was probably that way because I had just come out of a relationship.<\/p>\n

Feeling a good vibe from this new guy, I was pretty sure the\u00a0attraction was mutual.<\/p>\n

I felt comfortable enough to tell him about the nasty fights I had\u00a0with my ex.\u00a0 Too bad he was nowhere near as enthusiastic to hear\u00a0about my stories as I was in telling them.<\/p>\n

And so we ended the date, never becoming anything more that just\u00a0friends.\u00a0 He never did bother to ask me out, nor did I have the\u00a0nerve to insinuate that I wanted him to.<\/p>\n

Nevertheless, I learned an important truth that you should realize\u00a0as well.\u00a0 Being truly irresistible means to treat yourself like a\u00a0prize so that he follows suit.<\/p>\n

Demeaning yourself with inappropriate discussions about your\u00a0insecurities or stories of a turbulent past won\u2019t get you more than\u00a0a couple of dates from the same man.<\/p>\n

Vent to a specialist or your closest friend for support if you\u00a0must.\u00a0 Just don\u2019t think that doing the same with a newfound man is\u00a0going to bring you closer to him.<\/p>\n

Guys know that everyone has their own unique issues to deal with.\u00a0However, they\u2019d rather go out with someone who can handle their\u00a0problems maturely\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2026and doesn\u2019t have the burning desire to tell the whole world\u00a0about it.<\/p>\n

Click here for the easy step-by-step method to using \u201cIntrigue Questions\u201d to make him choose to be with you forever.<\/a><\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Slade Shaw Author of\u00a0Why Men Pull Away Learn exactly what pushes men to leave\u2026and how to NEVER feel abandoned or rejected Why Men Pull Away\u2026and What Makes Them STAY In Love Things You Shouldn\u2019t…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":113,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=112"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":148,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112\/revisions\/148"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/113"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=112"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=112"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=112"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}