{"id":104,"date":"2018-08-15T23:28:51","date_gmt":"2018-08-15T23:28:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/?p=104"},"modified":"2018-08-24T03:22:57","modified_gmt":"2018-08-24T03:22:57","slug":"is-the-perfect-man-perfect-for-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/is-the-perfect-man-perfect-for-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Is The Perfect Man Perfect For You?"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Mirabelle Summers
\nAuthor of\u00a0Get A Great Guy Guide<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

If you want genuine men and not just any man, this will challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story,\u00a0<\/strong>check this out\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

Free Video: Get A Great Guy Guide<\/strong><\/a><\/em><\/h3>\n

How To Get Guys Interested In You<\/h2>\n

It\u2019s so easy to forget that as much as we women want to find that perfect guy but at the same time feel hopelessly incompetent at attracting cute men, there are just as many guys out there who feel hopelessly incompetent at approaching a woman they\u2019re attracted to and asking her out.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why it is so important to make it as easy as possible to make dating and attraction easy. The first step is to be approachable!<\/p>\n

Make it easy for guys to catch your eye, exchange smiles, and make small talk with you.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll discover that what you once thought was a barren landscape without a single available guy has become a sea of men ready and willing to spend time with you.<\/p>\n

But that\u2019s not the focus of today\u2019s post.\u00a0 Instead, what I want to talk about is a concept around attracting men called \u201cOneitis.\u201d<\/p>\n

Oneitis is a concept developed by the men\u2019s seduction community to describe\u00a0\u201can obsession with a girl whom one is not dating; pickup artists believe that such an extreme fixation on one woman significantly lowers a man\u2019s chances of dating or sleeping with her\u201d\u00a0(The Game p.444)<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n

That definition, by the way, comes from one of the most respected pickup artists in the world: Neil Strauss, New York Times bestselling author and journalist for Rolling Stones magazine.<\/p>\n

His book The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists is the gold standard for information about the seduction community, its history, its lingo, and its key players.<\/p>\n

The idea is that when a man is fixated on learning seduction techniques to attract one particular girl because he worships the ground she walks on, he will inevitably fail, because she will sense his desperation-tinged adoration.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing less attractive than a man who acts like a puppy dog, following you everywhere and leaping to do whatever he thinks will please you.<\/p>\n

Once a man realizes that he has \u201coneitis,\u201d he can shake off his infatuation by focusing his efforts on dating other women.<\/p>\n

Although he may kid himself at first that he is practicing flirting to hone his skills for \u201cthe One,\u201d he often finds in the process that the other women he\u2019s seeing have much to offer him.<\/p>\n

He starts enjoying himself and feeling more comfortable interacting with women.<\/p>\n

Soon, his preoccupation with \u201cthe One\u201d is revealed for exactly what it is: an immature infatuation with a woman who in all likelihood isn\u2019t the best match for him.<\/p>\n

Although he still may enjoy her company, he won\u2019t live or die based on her acceptance or rejection of him.<\/p>\n

Strangely enough, this often triggers a turning point in their relationship: she will find him more interesting and attractive when his self-esteem is independent of her opinion of him.<\/p>\n

Although this concept has been developed particularly for the male seduction community, it is interesting to consider whether it has any relevance to us women.<\/p>\n

One of my readers commented that:<\/p>\n

\u201cYou deserve someone who\u2019s into you.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n

Yeah, great idea \u2013 but what if he is the only man you are interested in? You just dump him and move on?<\/p>\n

\u2026 I am not interested in just any guy.<\/p>\n

If he\u2019s just not that into you I would like to know what to do so that he is into me.<\/p>\n

Chances are if he isn\u2019t other guys aren\u2019t into you either.<\/p>\n

Being keenly interested in a man, to the point that you won\u2019t even look at other men because you\u2019re so certain that he\u2019s the one for you, certainly sounds like oneitis.<\/p>\n

But doesn\u2019t labeling it as a \u201csocial disease\u201d make a mockery of our very real feelings of attraction?<\/p>\n

Whereas men might be able to say that the cure for being obsessed with one particular girl is sleeping with ten others, most women aren\u2019t made that way.<\/p>\n

We usually fall in love with one man at a time.<\/p>\n

We have the right to be interested in one particular man and want to know how to make him feel the same way \u2026 don\u2019t we?<\/p>\n

I went to seduction expert James B to ask how oneitis might apply to women.\u00a0 His answer was simple.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re determined to get him, worrying night and day whether you\u2019re going to lose him, and obsessing over him, HE\u2019S NOT THE ONE!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Having an extreme case of oneitis is in itself proof that any relationship based on such an unequal distribution of attraction will be fatally flawed.<\/p>\n

If you like him a LOT more than he likes you, then you\u2019ll have more invested in the relationship than he will.<\/p>\n

You may find yourself changing yourself, giving up your own interests, and allowing him to control the relationship because you don\u2019t want him to leave.\u00a0 That\u2019s a recipe for disaster.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s healthy to start out a relationship with a neutral caution.\u00a0 Avoid giving into your feelings of infatuation, adoration, and love for the first few months.<\/p>\n

Allow yourself to get to know him better.\u00a0 See what it feels like to actually be together.<\/p>\n

Ask yourself at each stage how you feel in the relationship.\u00a0 Don\u2019t allow your admiration of his personal qualities to override the more important question, which is how you both interact as a couple.<\/p>\n

Easier said than done, I know.\u00a0 It\u2019s so much fun to fall head over heels for a guy, especially if you think he\u2019s the perfect man.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s so hard to step back from how wonderful HE is as a person to see how wonderful or not WE are as a couple.<\/p>\n

But remember your goal in the first stages of dating: it\u2019s to evaluate your relationship potential.\u00a0 It\u2019s not to confess your undying love.<\/p>\n

Leave that for once you\u2019re already in an established relationship moving towards greater intimacy and commitment.<\/p>\n

And that, I think, is the sound principle behind the concept of \u201cOneitis.\u201d\u00a0 The purpose of dating isn\u2019t to find the \u201cperfect\u201d man; it\u2019s to find the perfect combination made up of two human beings in a relationship.<\/p>\n

If you want additional advice on how to find a great guy and the skills to develop a great relationship, check out my video below:<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Video: Get A Great Guy Guide<\/strong><\/a><\/em><\/h2>\n

No games. No scripted lines. Real life dating advice for real women!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Mirabelle Summers Author of\u00a0Get A Great Guy Guide If you want genuine men and not just any man, this will challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":105,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=104"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":150,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104\/revisions\/150"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/105"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=104"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=104"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/makehimsure.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=104"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}